Reel Expression

I had to take the UK citizenship test on Wed. Here we have a very good example of bureaucracy in action.

When I first revieced my visa (cost $500) in the US it was a “limited leave to remain.” Tons and tons of paperwork to prove without a doubt I was married. Lots of financial information from both of us, hubbie had to write a letter of invitation, proof that we’d been speaking together, ect ect. This first one I call a trial visa to see if the marriage last for 2 years.

Next up is indefinate leave to remain - cost of £950. While the name says indefinate, it is anything but. I’m not sure what the time limit is, but I know that it does need to be renewed. For this you need 20 different types of proof that you lived here that span the entire 2 years, proof you don’t need benefits, photos together, proof of living situation, knowledge of “life in the uk”, ect ect.

Another option is after 3 years of living here, you can apply for dual citizenship - cost of £575. For both citizenship and ILR you need to take the “life in the UK test.” What I don’t understand is why do I need to spend £950 this year and another £575 next plus all the paperwork for both if my end goal is dual citizenship? Seems like a waste of time for both them and me.

The test itself… what a fucking nightmare. From what I’d read on the net, it consisted of 24 different obsecure facts, most of which my hubbie didn’t even know. Typical of me, I procrastinated reading the book and left it for the morning of, thinking I’d be able to force myself to bed early. No such luck. My insomnia kicked in right on time and kept me awake until 6am giving me a wonder 4 hours of sleep.

The nearest testing place was in Bricklanes. There is only 1 bus near me that goes to the area and this bus is anything but reliable. It’s supposed to come every 10-12min but more often then not, I’ve waited for closer to an hour for it. For the test, you have to schedule an appointment about 2 weeks in advance, if you are late you must reshedule and pay a fine. Of course, I left early enough to compensate for the shitty London bus service, but got there 30min early. I signed in at reception, they took me to the disgusting and loud canteen to do some last minute studing.

I really have no issue with immigration and people of different cultures seeking a better life in another country. What I do have issues with is being in a room trying to concentrate with many different languages being screamed around me. I hate it in English too, especially the testing centre worker who had a very loud argument over her mobile in the canteen. The thing is is that if I can understand what they are saying, it’s easier to tune it out. It’s bad on the busses when I’m trying to read, but I really wanted some last min revisions.

Baseless facts aren’t an easy thing for me to remember. I’m dyslexic so the memorization of dates has never been an easy thing. I’m far better with memorizing concepts and ideas. Seriously the only reason why I passed art history is because enough of the tests were the concepts behind the pieces.

Nothing says Life in the UK better then knowing how to que. Seriously, this country has a pretty moronic sense of the meaning. So, about 10min after the schelduled testing time, they shuffle us over to the computers. Then spend another 10min making sure that each row is filled prior to starting a new one. Then, they went around making sure you aren’t sitting next to someone you’re related to and had to shuffle people about. For the next over 30min they brought everyone up one by one to register, why wasn’t this done at reception for fucks sake?! By each computer there was a lamented detailed description of how the test works, inculding what “next question” means. From that, they spent what felt like an eternity walking everyone through, making sure they repeated it at least 5 times. Not to mention the countless times of “if the question says you must give two answers, a box will pop up to remind you.” Saddly this actually did stump a number of people.

Next up was the practice test, just incase you didn’t follow the repeated instructions or could read the notecard propped up against the monitor. This part actually threw me because they said the questions were easier then the actual test, but they weren’t. 1/2 of them weren’t even in my bloody book! I then had to wait impatiently, letting all my cramming seep out of my brain, while morons got stuck on the pop up box demanding two answers. I had to sit and wait for them to finish and allow me to start the actual test.

Actual test? Took me about 5 min to take. I went through all the questions and answered instinctually, then went back and thought about each one. Still, only took 5 min. From what I remember these were the questions:

1. (T/F) Women have always been allowed to divorce - (F - Gained the right in 1854)
2. (T/F) The monarch has the right to publicly state his/her political views. (F)
3. (T/F) The monarch can only marry a Protestant. (T)
4. (T/F) An employer has the right to dismiss a woman when she becomes pregnant. (F)
5. (T/F) Ethnic minority groups make up over 10 percentage of the British population. (F - it’s 7.9%)
6. Which of the following is true: Most young people help out in the community. or Most first time voters vote. (First one)
7. In the 1950s, the UK invited workers from India and Pakistan for which TWO industries? (Textiles and Engineering)
8. Who replaced Neville Chamberlain as PM in 1940? (Winston Churchill)
9. At what age do citizens get the right to vote? (18)
10. Who is the Head of State? (The Queen)
11. Which country in the UK has local authorities with the greatest amount of control over the services they deliver? (Scotland)
12. What is the electoral register? (a list of people eligible to vote)
13. What percentage of the population reported they have a religion. (over 75%)
14. In the 1970s, the majority of British immigrants arrived from what two areas? (Uganda and South East Asia )
15. At what age can people buy tobacco? (16)
16. Where is St Andrew’s day celebrated? (Scotland)
17. Which Cabinet member is responsible for law and order? (The Home Secretary)
18. What is the goal of Pressure Groups? (To try to influence government policy)
19. What percentage of children live in a stepfamily (10%)
20. Which flower is used to commerate Remeberance Day? (Poppy)
21. How many young people move onto higher education after school? (1 in 3)
22. How may countries currently make up the EU? (25)
23. (T/F) A person from an EU state working in Britain must be given employment under the same conditions as a British citizen. (T)
24. What institution can make rules that the UK has to follow?
a. The Council of Europe
b. The European Union
c. United Nations
d. European Convention on Human Rights

I’m certain I got the first 23 correct. The last is a bit tricky. The UN isn’t mentioned at all in the book so that’s out. Answer D is apart of the Council of Europe. According to the book, the EU is about trade and economy with not one single mention of laws. It also states that The Council of Europe doesn’t make laws but conventions that everyone must follow. So really, I don’t know. Doesn’t matter cause I got my boring sheet of paper that says I passed. Mr B was highly disappointed that it’s just a computer printout with a stamp, as he thinks it should be a certificate.

And look at that, only 1 question needed 2 answers. What’s the bloody point then? They had to spend time to program the test to bring up the pop up. Spend time explaining the 2 answer crap. Then help out people who still didn’t get it. If they are going to baby us that much why even bother?

All in all it was an annoying experience. They should have signed us in at reception (passport check and payment), and then ask if we are computer literate. Then had 1 of the 5 supervisors take us to a separate area and let us get done with it. Instead of being there for 2 1/2 hours, it could have just taken me 10min. What a waste.