Reel Expression

Dig it kats n kittens: another rezday has passed me by.

On May 31st, 2004 I was starting to get bored of City of Heroes and trolling the women gamer forums. I don’t usually look at banner ads but I happened upon an ad about being creative in SL and offering a free trial. You know… back when you had to pay. I had nothing better to do that day, so I went ahead and checked it out.

Now, anyone who’s been around long enough has fond memories of when they first rezzed in. The first few people they met, the silliness that happens when you first try to figure out what the fuck is going on, ect ect. I’m not exactally certain what the hell I did for the first day, but the 2nd is clear as day. I got another gamer friend of mine to try it out and we hid on teamspeak flying around and goofing off. We had happened upon a club that played really shitty music and found the absolutly hilarious free dance bracelets which strung the default animations together into 6 different combos. It still makes anyone laugh when I show it to them :P

Anyways… I don’t think I’ve laughed as hard as I did that night. I remember sitting there in my old SF apartment drinking wine and having a debate on the fact that they had to have figured out how to string those default animations together to make it look like people are having sex. Now I had known my friend for a while (Lanse in SL) playing MMOs with me being the only chick in the guild. To say he was very overprotective of me is a huge understatement. The more we argued about it, the more I laughed and the more I could almost see him blushing. Eventually he wandered off and found a back room shop full of sex objects. I remember very well him telling me not to come in, but I had figured out the camera and rotated the cam around to see him standing there in the midst of all that stuff. Fun Fun.

But that’s not really what I wanted to talk about.. while Lanse and I had some fun times, he was still into CoH and didn’t hang out much in SL. That summer was the last one I spent in the States as I moved to London that Sept. It was also the summer when I spent most of my time with Trinity Serpentine and Kate Hanks (Pictured above with me in 2004 and a couple days ago).

Look at the first picture. Trin and I are wearing some of the first prim hair which actually were just addons. Kate isn’t wearing any because black was the only colour you could find and she has always been partial to blonde hair. Notice the shoes? There were no prim shoes (that I remember). We are also sitting the in default SL sits since there were no AOs yet.

So, I spent most of my first SL summer with these two. Endless hours sitting around talking and laughing. Being silly while Trinny DJed. And of course nekkid dancing! These two have been my favourite SL residents since I met them and I don’t know if I would have stuck around in the beginning without them. They supported me through the years of being a no-name animator. Always more then supportive of every creative thing I have ever done.

And imagine my overwhelming happiness when at SLCC, after giving my very nervous and hungover talk to see the giddy Trinny holding a sign up in the back to her “Lulu.” Frankly that alone made that weekend. And I am overjoyed that we’ll see eachother again the Sept for our FLCC - our holiday which happens to be at the same time and place as SLCC but a boycott of the way the convention is being done now.

In the years since, I may not have been around them as much as I would have liked but no matter how long it’s been, it feels like no time has passed when we do get together. After a few moments of catching up we always tend to fall into the usual ease of conversation. Because of time differences, busy schedules and much needed breaks from SL this weekend was the first time in years since we’d been together. It was one of the very rare times that we’ve all be online at the same time and we’ve usually hung out separatly. It was a very happy day indeed! Far better then any rezday part I could have been bothered to set up.

So… to end the unsual amount of gushing in the post:
Trinny and Kate - Love you!!! *hugs n stuff*
-Luth

George Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008).
He’s pissed off most people and made the rest of us laugh for over 40 years. Most known (in history) for the “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television” (1972) - shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksuker, motherfucker, and tits.

He’s been the influence of some of my favourite American comedians including: Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, Stephen Colbert, and Bill Maher. He was the first person to host Saturday Night Live, has done 13 HBO specials (1977-2008), frequently on The Tonight Show as a preformer and guest host, plus was in many different comedy films including: Both Bill and Ted films, Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

People in general either love or hate him. Which happens to anyone who is that upfront with their views on the extreme topics of politics, religion and society especially when those views are different from the societal norm. Few people can find the humour in things that they are passionate about. I can get that. I enjoy Reel Time With Bill Maher and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart partly because in most cases I agree with them. Even laughed when Jon Stewart made quite a few jokes about SL a few weeks back, but it was more about the congresional hearings on SL harboring terriorists. Yet I don’t usually find pro-conservative spin jokes all that funny, but I haven’t heard that many so I can’t be all that sure about it.

Actually the more that I think of it, maybe that’s the reason why most republicans have their pants in a twist, they don’t have enough comedians to reduce their anger on the big topics.

Now I haven’t always agreed with everything George Carlin has said, but its all pretty much funny all the time. Why I do really like is that he could find something funny in just about anything. Also that he could agree with certain aspect of issues but not others. And most importantly for me, that he could joke about anything no matter what society figured were appropriate topics.

Most of you who know me or have been reading this blog long enough can easily figure out that he’s a long time favourite. I’m pretty angsty now, but it was considerbly worse when I was younger. I first caught Carlin’s HBO show “Doin’ It Again” (1990) when I was 13. Of course I didn’t understand a good deal about some of the political issues he joked about, but it still was highly influential. See, no matter which of his shows you are watching the base theme is: question everything. Question politics, religion, society, everything. Most of his jokes are about “normal” things looked at a bit more closely or in a different angle then most people think about them. That’s some pretty heavy shit for a midwestern teenage girl who was constantly surrounded by people who expect everyone to conform to their version of normality.

Think about it… I was this girl with genius level intelligence and a base instinct of questioning everything, yet I was living in a society where not only were girls not supposed to be intelligent you weren’t to question anything. English teachers expecting you to understand a book their way and you’d fail if you saw other things in it. I had many fights with teachers over the years because they could never answer my questions on many topics outside the scope of the lesson plan. Most specifically in English and History. Now, I used the word “intelligent” instead of “smart” because there is a bit of difference. Being able to regurgitate information and memorize dates (history), themes (english), and theories (maths & science) is different then being able to understand it and come up with your own ideas. While most of the girls I knew growing up held themselves back on school work for fear of being a nerd or whatever other societial pressure, there was far more pressure against the logical use of your brain to think for yourself. Now, thats also not to say that boys were encouraged to think for themselves, but from my point of view of my history girls were pushed a little bit harder for the “normal” ways girls are supposed to be in order to attract boys, which is our primary role in life, right?

So prior to the age of 13 I had heard the quiet voice out there to question everything before. Or that I haven’t wavered and thought life would just be easier if I “fit in.” Hell, my SL business would more then likely be far better off if I kept my trap shut. I don’t know what it was that night that cemented my belief in questioning everything, but it did.

So.. Rest in Peace George Carlin. Thank you for the many years of constant laughs.

The following are NSFW and will make you angry if you don’t find the humour. The 2nd one espeically if you don’t see the humour in religion. The first one was from 1978 and the 2nd was from 2001.

This blog post is a good 8 out 10 on the work avoidance meter.

Last night I was searching the net for when Burn Notice, Eureka and Psych start up again and imagine my shock at finding out that Fox made a pilot of an Americanized adaption of the brilliant UK show called Spaced. It’s this slice of perfection of cult tv shows that should stay just the way they are. Spaced is a perfect example creative inspiration at it’s best. Luckily while the pilot has been made, the entire project has died an early death.

Bugger Fox broadcasting. Not only do they have faux news but they were stupid enough to cancel Family Guy oh so long ago - they only get a few points for bringing it back - but they were behind the horrible way in which Firefly was treated. Thankfully they passed on it. *deep sigh of relief*

Possibly due to the success of The Office remake for American TV and/or Simon Pegg & Edgar Wright’s films - Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead. When they first came out with the announcement of the Office remake, I had many issues with that. Granted its not nearly as good as the origional, but it still had the brilliant Ricky Gervais (the origional creator) as a producer. A lot of people said it worked and maybe it did get more people to watch the origional, but I can’t say much since I haven’t watched it. But it could not have worked without the origional creators input.

In the press release they did mention Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright but completly left out Jessica Stevenson. On further digging I found out that none of them have been consulted about the show and all have been vocal against the entire thing. How the bloody hell can you have Spaced without those three?! How could Tim or Daisy be written or played by anyone but Pegg or Stevenson?! Some creative projects ooze the blood, sweat and tears from the creators. You know it when you see it. Other projects are made for money and that spark is just missing.

It would be like what West Wing was after Aaron Sorkin left. It’d be like a major movie studio remaking Clerks.

While there are some really great TV shows from the states, the only way Spaced would end up on the networks would be to seriously water it down. And you just can’t have a gen-x subculture comedy and still water it down enough for American network tv of today.

It’s not like there are so many cultural differences between the US and the UK. At least not so much presented in the show. Most of the references are about films (mostly American), video games, comics, and many other cultural references that are actually shared between the two countries. If Shaun of The Dead was well recieved, why would you need to Americanize the pretty simular TV show? Even in Shaun of The Dead the referenced Spaced! That didn’t ruin the film for those who hadn’t seen the show. Bloody hell, if people don’t get it as is, then they never would not because of the differences between Americans and Brits, but because of not being geeky enough. Those people have American Idol to keep them entertained.

I saw it when I first arrived in London and loved every min of it and in veiwings years later only a few things stand out as more understandable now.

If you haven’t seen it and like gen-x subculture and dry humour, I highly suggest trying it out after it comes out on region 1 DvD in July. And if you really like Brit comedy, I highly suggest also trying out Black Books.

Below is the first ep in the crap youtube format:

I’ve always had allergies, but I was never one of those sterotypical kids with allergies. I played sports growing up like softball and football (soccer) and American football. I went camping, fishing, rode my bike everywhere and other general nonsense you do in a midwestern summer. Only really a few times it ever was devistating. Why am I telling you all of this? I don’t know really. Just typing I guess. For the past 3 weeks I’ve been laying on a couch with a cold washcloth over my eyes. So not fun. Happily though, its managable now. But I missed an imporatant 3 weeks of working towards my new store re-opening. So, I’ve decided to push it back to July 1st.

Now I don’t think my allergies got any worse over the years per say, which is the opposite of what usually happens. I think it has a lot more to due with the fact that I’m exposed to different pollen then what I grew up around. Even moving to a different town can effect people but moving to another country hasn’t been good at all. Its not just the allergies, its the sevarity and amount of colds and flu. It seems as if I spend most of the year ill since I moved here. Yet another reason why I should move back to the states I guess!

When I moved to SF, I had no issues at all. I think that had a lot to do with the rain and the constant wind blowing the pollution and pollen across the bay. However, if I went to LA to work for a couple of days all hell would break loose no matter what time of the year. Personally I think its funny that I’m allergic to LA, that place is just bloody horrible.

I usually get a mild form of hayfever every spring, but nothing a constant dose of benadry can’t make managable. Last spring was the worst in memory and this year hasn’t been that much better. I guess its what I get from living by one of the large royal parks in London. All those trees, all that tree pollen and the much pollution have made parts of the year extremly miserable. To make matters worse, its not attacking the sinuses like what is typical for hayfever. It’s mostly in my eyes. Itchy, watery eyes. That wouldn’t be so bad. It’s the constant feeling like something is in my eye. Months of that all day long can drive a person mental. Add to that the swelling. Remember, your eyes are surrounded in mucus. All allergies are is an increase in white blood cells in your mucus, which makes those areas swell. Not fun at all!

Tree pollen isn’t the only type of pollen, but certainly the worst for me. There is grass pollen that only affects me when I’m around a freshly mowed lawn or trapsing through a field. Usually it just makes me get the typical hayfever, but I do remember a time after running around a northern CA mountain and my throat closing the next morning. Kind of scary to wake up and unable to talk. I had to txt a friend to call me in ill for a kickboxing tourney I was judging that day! Only real upside to this is it got me out of lawn mowing chores as a kid.

Then you have flower pollen. This one is probably the least of the pollen issues. I can be around flowers and I even have some potted ones in the flat. However as I learned when I was maybe 5 or so was that rubbing pollen all over your face in a native american face painting style is not a good idea. It was from this huge orange flower that had red pollen planted in the garden. Needless to say my eyes swelled shut!

For me, foods is the biggest one but technically not allergies. I am unable to break down certain foods, mostly veggies with skin. Like tomatoes, onions, peppers, ect. They make me very ill. However I can have tomato sauce, onion granules (spice in a bottle), ground pepper and such. I’ve lived with it all my life so I’m used to it, but it makes my meals pretty boring and going out to eat frustrating.

I’m also strangely allergic to the sun, but not the creepy can’t go outside ever type. It only occurs with sunburns. I hear normal sunburns are pretty painful, but think about adding swelling and itching! It is quite horrible. Mild sunburns aren’t so bad, benadryl and aloe makes it go away. There are really only 2 noteable experiences I had with it. When I was 12 I stayed with my cousins for the summer in Minnesota and a good part of that was spent at their cabin near the Canadian boder. My back had gotton a pretty decent burn but the swelling and itching made it unbearable. I couldn’t move for 2 days and my Aunt had to constantly put ice cold washcloths on my back.

Even more noteable was a trip to Montanta when I was 17. We had gone to a water park and I burnt the tops of my feet! I couldn’t move my ankles or toes due to the swelling and it itched like hell. I clearly remember sneaking out into the woods with cold washcloths wrapped around my feet to have a smoke. And white water rafting the next day was painful as hell until the ice cold mountian water splashed into the raft.

On the up side, I’m less likely to get skin cancer for my close attention to sunblock. Right?

Dig it kats n kittens, insomnia has gotton the better of me for over 3 months now. I’ve always had and semi delt with insomnia for as long as I can remember, but it’s never been this bad or lasted this long.

There are many varring degress of insomnia. Some kinds are you can’t stay asleep long enough or wake up constantly all night but my kind is the heady can’t bloody fall asleep type. The sort where I’m falling asleep all day at my desk trying to do anything, but the second my head hits that pillow I’m wide awake and thinking about anything and everything. It’s called “sleep onset insomnia.”

Usually this happens every few nights and only for a couple of hours at most. Since early January it has been a constant. 5-16 hours just lying there wishing I could fall asleep. No matter what time it is or how long I’ve been awake. It’s becoming more and more frustrating after every passing day. Just laying there, not able to do much of anything because I’m so bloody tired but still unable to actually fall alseep.

A constant time shift in your body schedule seems to completly fuck up your system. Think about it, one day you wake up at 3pm, then next at 12am, then perhaps 2:30am and then 5:30am. You wake up confused at what day it is or what part of the day has already passed. Confused at how to fix it. Frustrated. That’s been my weekend in exact times. Not to mention pretty much what the entire year has been thus far.

First the sleep schedule gets all out of wack, then comes the eating schedule and the body gets even more confused. Oh how many times I’ve had dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner? How many times have I’ve just skipped dinner all together? How many times even have I had beer for breakfast due to waking up just before going out with mates? Easter I woke up at 5pm to find out I had to cook dinner for 7 people, 1/2 of which are vegatarians and the house competly stocked with wine for the feast.

3 + months of not eating well really only seems to work up til your mid 20’s I’ve found. At 30, your body seems to respond in very odd and uncomfortable ways. Including stomach flu, standard flu, and annoying allergy attacks.

My perfect sleep schedule is off by “normal” standards. But I don’t have a normal job, and I like working “off” hours. It’s probably why I’m much better suited at not having a normal job. I’m a night owl. I work best (creatively) at night. The tehcnical name for it is called “delayed sleep phase syndrome.” Its a pretty difficult thing to cure as its a syndrome with your body clock where your best sleeping times is after the “normal” times. Most people who do “fix” sleeping times revert back to their own body clock timing within a week. I have found that my best sleeping schedule is from 4am - noon after a long battle of trying to change that with sleep studies in my earlier years. I just wish right now that my body would finally fix itself, as the insomnia is something completly different.

Ok, wishing is all well and good but making my body do my bidding is another story. It’s not like I didn’t try and force myself to get on a schedule. Hell, I’ve actually gotton it to work twice now but it doesn’t seem to last. Everything that has ever worked in the past just doesn’t. Yesterday was my 10th all nighter since the new year. And I’m not talking fun clubbing all nighters, but the boring sit around and watch tv and movies kind. In the past, I’ve tried every type of sleeping pill out there and nothing seems to work except benadryl. But only the US kind as the UK version is non-sleepy. Has that worked at all? Nope. I’ve tried drinking. Heavy drinking seems to make me pass out but only for a few hours and waking up is not fun. Light drinking didn’t do much of anything at all, where usually a beer or 2 or a glass of wine or 2 used to work. Relaxing baths? Nothing. Watching a couple episodes of tv? Nothing.

I went to the doctor last week for stronger allergy pills and to discuss my increasingly frustrating insomnia. Last year you may remember my battle with allergies around this time with my eyes, and I’ve been starting to feel the starting of the same symptoms. I’ve never enjoyed talking to doctors about the insomnia thing. Usually they just prescribe pills which never work or put it off on sadness/stress/anxiety even if that’s never actually the case. Yes I have anxiety over the insomnia now which isn’t helping anything but it actually had to start getting bad before it could stress me out. Duh. I personally have serious issues with the common conceptions of insnomnia. When I’m sad, I have no problems sleeping. I sleep a lot when that happens. For stress/anxiety watching tv, taking baths, imagining “happy & soothing thoughts” (self hypnosis), acupressure, ect usually works.

In the end, he just gave me some pills that don’t help with falling asleep but make me sleep more and I’m even more tired when I’m awake. Fun fun. I’m still working on it and hopefully this will all be fixed so I can get all the many creative things I’ve got zooming around in my head out.

Cheers
Luth